This is one of the speech I made during my Toastmasters days a year ago. Enjoy~


A quick raise of hands. Who got stuck in your office toilet before? No one? Ok, it’s just me. Now I can tell u, that was not a fun experience.

Fellow Toastmasters, dear guest.

I work in an office environment, like most of you here. People always lament that the typical 9 to 5 office life is boring. I tend to disagree. My office life can be very interesting and there are so many things I can learn from. Even from a toilet incident, that happened last month.

One fine day, at around 10am, I went to my office toilet. There are 3 cubicles. I went into the 2nd cubicle and saw that the toilet bowl wasn’t flushed and it was full of human excrement. I was annoyed, but I press on the flush button anyway, not knowing that it was clogged. Can you guess what happen next? Almost immediately, the water starts to overflow bringing along all the excrement with it. By then I was safely few steps away staring at the mess I caused. The smell was pungent. I also noticed that someone was using the cubicle beside it. Poor guy, I thought. Well, nothing I can do, and no point staying around. So, I just took off and went back to work.

The next day, I went to the toilet at about the same time. And again, the 2nd toilet was clogged. So as not to repeat my mistake, I close the lid on the 2nd toilet and went to use the 3rd toilet, right beside it. After I had taken off my pants and seated comfortably on my throne, I hear 2 ladies talking from the 2nd cubicle. I’m not sure what they did, the next thing I hear was the flushing sound and one of the lady crying out ‘o, shit…’ (literally). And then I hear toilet water overflowing and within seconds, it has found its way to my side of the cubicle. Now, I had quick reflex, by then, my both legs was already raised and straight, with my pants at the far end of my foot. I was very angry. I cursed at the 2 cleaner ladies, but they just went out.

Ladies & gentlemen.

Can you imagine the predicament I was in? Stuck on a toilet seat with my pants down. Human feces everywhere and the smell, horrendous. It was a disaster! I had my both legs straight up, and yelling for help wouldn’t do me any good. I was cursing away. That was my worst day ever.

Eventually, I managed to slowly pull my pants up while keeping my legs hanging in the air. Now I show you how I did that. Ok I can’t. My adrenaline was rushing at that time, and when adrenaline rush, human can achieve amazing feat. Being alert, I saw an area about this size at my far right corner, that is still clean, unpolluted. Just the right size for 2 foot. Quickly but steadily, I stretched one leg and put it on the spot. And with that, I open the toilet latch and got out, unscathed.

So, that was my toilet incident. It was a traumatic 15 minutes for me, but I did manage to learn 3 very valuable life lessons from it. KFC. K for Karma. Karma is real. And sometimes it doesn’t take years to hit you back, just one day later. Remember how I flushed the toilet and caused so much distress to the guy using the next cubicle? I became the poor guy the next day. So, never misuse the privilege you have now and hurt those who have-not. Because in split second, you can be in an even worse situation. F for Flexible. It takes a lot of limb twisting for me to put on my pants in that small cubicle. Same in life, if you are flexible, you will be able to maneuver your way out of any tight situation. This is definitely better than just lamenting about what you are given. And lastly, C for Chance. In life, we are given chances. Is that short window of opportunity that pop by, once in a while. When you see it, you must immediately grab hold of it, without hesitation. If u miss it, you will be stuck in a shit hole for a while before the next window come. My ticket out was that small patch of area, which I immediately step on and got away.

I took KFC out of my office toilet. If you can take KFC and incorporate it into your own life, I don’t think you will do that bad in life at all. Now, trust me. Even though my office toilet stinks, KFC certainly doesn’t. If you apply it well, I bet it will surely unclog all the bottlenecks you have in your life. Back to you.